


You know I'd give you it all

by frenchkiss



Category: Clean Bandit (Band), Years & Years (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 17:14:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4969483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frenchkiss/pseuds/frenchkiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's never been something Olly's ever questioned, who tops and who bottoms. But now Neil wants to question it, and Olly is more than happy to give Neil anything he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You know I'd give you it all

It happens one night after they’ve just had sex.

Olly is completely spent, lying on his belly with a hand tucked under the pillow, nuzzling into the familiar warmth that is Neil’s sweaty back. He hums and presses his lips into one of Neil’s shoulders, but unlike normal, Neil doesn’t acknowledge it. He doesn’t even move.

“Babe?” Olly asks, then kisses the same spot again. He doesn’t think he’s asleep. “Neil?”

Neil grunts, and it’s not like him to be like this after sex at _all._ Normally he’s the one demanding the cuddle, pulling Olly against his chest and snuggling into the back of his neck. He’s gentle and tender and Olly has never once doubted his affections to be any less than genuine. Now though, he’s really unsure of what is going on.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” he asks, tugging on Neil’s shoulder to try and encourage him to roll over. Neil doesn’t respond. “Neil, come on. Neil.”

“Nothing,” Neil says, but it sounds forced and Olly doesn’t believe him for a second. “’m fine.”

“Bollocks are you,” Olly scoffs. He’s not beneath begging. “Neil, babe. Please.”

“I said I’m fine,” Neil says. “Christ, Olly, just drop it.”

Olly props himself up on his elbows, pouting even though Neil can’t see him. “I’m not stupid, love. Something is up and, like, come on. We’ve just fucked and I want my cuddle.” Neil mumbles something  Olly can’t make out at all. It sounds petulant and he sighs. “Neil. _Sweetheart._ I love you. Talk to me.”

“I wanna go to sleep,” Neil mumbles. “Can we go to sleep?”

His voice is small, and it makes something ache in Olly’s chest. He’s really fucking upset, Olly knows, because he’s only ever gotten like this once in their whole relationship, and that was when he and his sister had a big falling out before he went on tour. Olly doesn’t know what to do, so he just kisses his shoulder again and drapes an arm across Neil’s waist. His skin is warm and still damp from sweat, and he can’t deny he smells amazing. Olly loves him so much.

“Yeah, we’ll go to sleep,” he murmurs softly, hitching his smaller body up so he can try and spoon Neil from behind. “We’ll talk about it in the morning, maybe.”

He phrases it almost like a question, but all Neil does is grunt again. Olly feels more than a little confused, but he’s tired out and warm and happy for the most part to be pressed up against Neil, even if Neil is being a little off (well, more than a little).

Without dropping his arm from around Neil’s waist, he reaches over for the lamp, flicking the switch off so the room plunges into darkness. He shuffles back and presses himself close to Neil again, his hand sliding down to rest more comfortably over the familiar plains of Neil’s ripped stomach. He loves Neil’s stomach a _lot;_ the way he’s so toned and tight and pressed is one of the things that first drew him to the bloke, after all.

Well, if he’s honest, it was all of Neil’s body that made his mouth water the first time he saw him. From his broad shoulders that stretched out whatever t-shirt he was wearing to his gorgeous, strong biceps that Olly loves the most when they’re holding him down, pinning him to the bed, Olly can’t fault a single thing about him physically.

He also loves loves _loves_ the difference in their sizes. Neil is not only quite a few inches taller, but also so much broader, and the way he can just lift Olly up and carry him from room to room, or even hold him up against a wall as he fucks into him is something Olly didn’t think was a kink for him, but with Neil he knows that to be completely wrong. To be fair, he didn’t think he’d find a lot of things to be true, like, ever, but Neil has blown almost all of them out of the water.

He’s never loved anyone quite like how he loves Neil, and it might sound a bit silly and a bit childish but it’s because of this that he can’t stand the thought of Neil being mad at him. Those three little words are relatively new between them – Olly had known for a long time, but he didn’t want it to be said over the phone or on Skype, he wanted to be able to hold him as he said them – and everything is so wonderful and exciting and pretty close to perfect. So the idea that something is hanging over Neil and making him feel sad is enough to keep him awake.

He’s also not used to being the big spoon. Obviously, by pure definition of their shapes and sizes, that position had fallen to Neil without any discussion. Olly loved the nights where he fell asleep in Neil’s warm hold more than anything, and even though it’s still warm and cosy pressed against him like this, it’s just not what he’s used to.

“Love,” he says quietly, unsure of whether he’s fallen asleep. He doesn’t really have any idea how long he’s been awake thinking. “Neil, are you awake?”

Neil doesn’t respond but Olly feels him tense, and he isn’t stupid.

“Neil,” he says again. “Babe. Baby. Please look at me.”

There’s a pause, one in which Olly panics that he’s just going to be ignored again, but eventually Neil rolls over. His hair is all over the place and he’s still a little sticky and sweaty from their romp. He’s truly beautiful, Olly thinks. _Knows._ But he’s still not meeting his eyes.

“I love you,” he says, and hopes and prays that this time it isn’t ignored. “Please don’t make me go to sleep with you mad at me.”

Neil’s expression softens a bit, and Olly mentally fist pumps the air. It’s a small win, but he’ll take it. “I’m not mad at you, baby,” he says quietly. “Well, not really you. It’s kind of a…”

He cuts himself off and goes to roll back over, but Olly stops him with a firm hand to his shoulder. Neil’s leagues stronger than him physically and they both know it, but he does stop. Olly kisses his chin.

“Will you at least give me something to go on?” he says, ducking his head in yet another futile attempt to hold Neil’s gaze. “I’m not a mind-reader, sweetheart.”

“I know,” Neil says, voice small. “I know that.”

Olly moves forward a little, cupping Neil’s stubbly cheek with his hand. He rests their foreheads together and aligns their bodies so they’re flush, chest to chest. He takes a moment just to be close to him, breathing in his familiar scent and feeling the warmth of their skin together in a much more comforting way than they did before. Maybe he should bring that up to Neil – being the big spoon must be no fun, what with the whole not being able to see your partner’s beautiful face thing.

“Neil,” Olly tries again. “Talk to me, babe. I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

Neil presses his lips together, like he’s trying to bite something back. Olly leans forward and kisses him square on the mouth, close-lipped but hard and sure. Neil doesn’t kiss back right away, but he makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat and slides his hand forward to cup Olly’s neck, keeping them pressed close. It’s only when Olly moves back for air that he makes the move to reciprocate it, parting his mouth and immediately fitting their lips back together. It’s damp and sloppy, but so _so_ good.

“I love you,” Neil mumbles as he pulls back. “I love you so much.”

Olly feels a little like his heart could burst. “Then what’s wrong, Neil?” he says, and he’s more than a little aware that his voice probably sounds desperate. “Did I do something wrong?” He kisses him again. “One minute we’re having what I think is pretty fucking amazing sex, and the next you’re pulling out of me and rolling over and ignoring me, even though I’m right fucking here. Like, did you even come?”

“I…” Neil starts, and he’s looking a little like a scolded child. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t come.”

“But why?” Olly all but wails, and he wants to grab at Neil’s shoulders and shake but he doesn’t think that’d be conducive to solving anything. “Did I do something wrong? You still haven’t told me and I…” He cuts himself off and goes to get out of bed, but Neil’s hand wraps around his wrist before he can. “What? Let me go, Neil.”

Neil looks really rather forlorn. “I’m sorry,” he says, offering Olly a desperate look. “Please don’t go.”

Olly sighs, dejected, but he slides back under the covers. “I was only going to go to the loo, I wasn’t, like… I wasn’t gonna go home or anything.”

“Okay,” Neil says, nodding awkwardly against the pillow. “Good.”

“Good,” Olly repeats. He lies back down in his previous position but takes special care not to touch him this time. “So. Do you want to tell me what’s up?”

“Not really,” Neil admits. Olly tries not to let his offence show on his face. “I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Olly asks. He lets his hand move forward, just enough to brush gentle fingers down his cheek again. “Have you killed someone? Is that it? Because I’d help you hide a body in a heartbeat, sunshine.”

Neil finally, _finally_ cracks a smile. “No, I haven’t killed anybody,” he confirms.

“Phew,” Olly says, pretending to wipe sweat from his brow. “Okay, so it’s not that.” He freezes suddenly, the most terrifying thought he could think of flashing through him. “Do you… oh, _god,_ do you not… are you, like, not attracted to me anymore, is that it?”

By the time he’s got the words out, his voice has cracked and there are tears pricking the corner of his eyes. Neil, on the other hand, looks horrified, and for the first time since before whatever is going on began he bundles Olly into his arms, kissing as much of him as he can reach.

“Darling,” he coos. “Darling, no, of course that’s not it. I love you so much, I…”

Olly’s bottom lip is still trembling, but he clings back to Neil regardless because he knows that those are words he shouldn’t doubt. “I love you too,” he says shakily. “But why won’t you talk to me, Neil? You literally… you didn’t even come, like…”

Neil, to his credit, looks rather fucking sheepish about it. “It’s not you, though. I swear it isn’t you.”

“Well, who else is it gonna be, really?” Olly says flatly. “Honestly, Neil, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”

Neil doesn’t say anything for a few moments. Olly waits patiently, tucked up in Neil’s arms, because regardless of the weird tension they’re still his favourite place in the whole wide world.

“I’m scared,” Neil says eventually, laughing self-deprecatingly. “I’m scared you’ll say no and I’m scared you’ll think I’m being daft.”

“I think you’re being daft _now,_ ” Olly mumbles. He runs his fingers through a thick tuft of Neil’s chest hair. “I’d still love you even if you grew an extra head. I’d love you if you were bald and you had no arms so you couldn’t play the violin. I’ll still love you even when you’re old and wrinkled and your biceps aren’t nearly as good as they are now.”

Neil smiles at that, and Olly tucks his face into the juncture between his neck and shoulder and begins to sing. “When your legs don’t work like they used to before…”

“Stop,” Neil giggles, and he slides his hand up to cup the back of Olly’s neck, drawing him forward for a quick kiss. It’s not much more than a quick peck, but at least now both of them are smiling. “Alright, alright. I’ll tell you. But…” He holds up his finger, pointing it at Olly somewhat sternly. “If I make you feel, like, uncomfortable or it’s something you don’t want to do, then tell me and I’ll shut up.”

Olly sighs but he nods. “I honestly can’t think what on earth could be such a big deal,” he says. “Which is not, like, a criticism, but I mean it when I say you can tell me anything because I really do fucking love you and I…”

“I want to bottom,” Neil huffs out, and he flushes the deepest, darkest red that Olly has ever seen him go. “I want you to fuck me, and I want you to make me fall apart the way I love to make you fall apart. I want you to, like…” He goes quiet for a second, then says, “fuck it. I want you to make love to me and I want to feel small and cherished and…”

“Is that it?” Olly blurts, effectively cutting off Neil’s rambling. “Is that literally it?” He pulls back enough to cup Neil’s face in both of his smaller hands, smiling at him disbelievingly. “Darling, oh my god. Is that really what you were scared to talk to me about?”

Neil is positively magenta as he answers, “well, _yeah._ ”

“Seriously?” Olly questions. “Why would that make me mad?”

“Because I know how much you love bottoming,” Neil says, half-heartedly shrugging. “It’s always been our way. I dunno, we fell into this, like, sex dynamic so quickly and it’s just always been that way. You’ve always my priority during sex so if it feels good for you then I guess…”

“It takes two people to have sex, Neil,” Olly says. He rolls his eyes then kisses Neil’s cheek to show he’s only joking. “If it’s not as good for you as it is for me then I don’t wanna be having it.”

Neil’s eyebrows shoot up. “But you love bottoming,” he repeats dumbly.

“I love you more though,” Olly says. “And honestly? It’s not even about who is on the top or on the bottom, like, I really love feeling close to you and kissing you and marking you.” He kisses him again, slow and sweet. “And if you want me to top, then I’ll top. Honestly, love, like, I might need you to walk me through it a bit, but I’m more than happy.”

“Have you ever… like, with someone before?” Neil asks. Olly’s starting to wonder if there’s any blood in his body other than his face. Regardless, he can’t help but roll his eyes at the question.

“I’m not a total bottom boy, you know. I’ve been around a bit.”

Any mention of Olly’s old boyfriends does tend to rile Neil up a little bit, so he’s not all that surprised when Neil clings to him a little tighter, possessive. Olly sinks into it, peppering lazy kisses into the column of Neil’s throat.

“I love you,” Neil whispers. “I love you so much and I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this.”

Olly pulls back, unsure. “What do you mean, have to do this? Having sex with my boyfriend isn’t exactly a chore, mate.”

“Yeah, I know, but,” Neil says with a sigh, “you’ve never expressed an interest in it before.”

Olly shrugs. “I’ve not thought about it. And I don’t mean that to sound, like, selfish, because clearly you weren’t happy with the arrangement but I’m just happy to be having sex with someone as gorgeous and lovely as you.”

Neil smiles and knocks at his chin lightly. “You flatter me.”

Olly grins, then pushes Neil onto his back before he moves up to straddle him. Neil goes easily and their lips meet in the middle, both men smiling into the kiss. Olly tries to emulate some of what Neil does to him when they’re like this and getting ready for sex, so he squeezes Neil’s knee to encourage him to move his legs wider apart.

He doesn’t mean it to hurt, but Neil lets out a groan that breaks their kiss, his head lolling back against the pillows. Olly raises himself up a bit and stares down, a little aroused but a lot amused.

“You like that?” he asks, not even teasingly. This is a genuine question. “You like it when I manhandle you a bit?”

Neil nods, biting at his bottom lip. “Yeah,” he says, his voice coming out a little breathless. “I like it. I like you on top of me a lot.”

Olly grins, tongue poking out a little between his teeth. He ducks down to kiss him again sweetly, then pulls back again, eyes questioning. “So do you wanna try now? Or tomorrow?”

Neil goes pink again. “Well, like, I didn’t exactly come, so I…”

“Right, right,” Olly says, also blushing. He’d forgotten all about that, if he’s honest. “Yeah, course, I’ll just…”

“Kiss me,” Neil begs. “Kiss me for a bit and then I’ll walk you through what to do.”

Olly can’t turn down the opportunity to kiss Neil _ever,_ so he leans down to do just that. Their mouths fit together so naturally, seamlessly, and Olly always loses himself in it so easily. With Neil it’s like kissing the epitome of exactly how he likes to be kissed, and it’s one of his all-time favourite things. So they kiss and they kiss, until Olly can feel Neil hardening beneath him, dick fat and pressing against his thigh.

“You like that?” he says again, pulling back and licking his lips. This time, however, he fully means to tease. “You really do like that, don’t you, babe?”

Neil lets out another whine. “Please, Olls,” he says, his cock twitching as Olly’s hand ghosts over it. “Please.”

“Please, what?” Olly says. He’s already enjoying being a little more in charge a lot more than he thought he was going to. “What do you want me to do to you, darling?”

“F-fingers,” Neil stammers, eyes blinking up at him wantonly. He’s already starting to sweat and he looks really fucking beautiful underneath Olly like this. “Will you…?”

Olly nods and leans across Neil’s chest to get to the bedside table. The bottle of lube they usually use is lost somewhere in the sheets or on the floor, but they always keep a spare along with some condoms in the drawer. He leans back onto his knees and parts Neil’s legs even wider, exposing his arse.

Although he’s spent many pleasant hours in the vicinity of Neil’s dick, he hasn’t actually explored much further than that, which right now he understands to be a crying shame. Neil’s arse, like the rest of him, is covered in a downy hair. It’s round and plump, skin soft yet firm as Olly squeezes a handful. Neil groans.

“Roll over,” Olly encourages, pressing a kiss into Neil’s knee. “Roll over and let’s get some fingers in you.”

Neil moves to roll himself over at lightning speed, nearly knocking the bottle of lube to the floor. Olly just about manages to catch it in time, then shifts back a little and runs his palm over the skin there for a bit, just getting used to the feel of it. He’s only really felt it up when he’s teasing, like gripping Neil’s arsecheeks as they kiss or smacking it teasingly when they’re around their friends or bandmates. It’s a crying shame really, and Olly’s sorry he never took the time to truly give Neil’s arse the appreciation it deserves.

“Olls,” Neil whines. “Stop bloody teasing, baby.”

Olly smirks even though Neil can’t see him. “You’re just so fit,” he giggles, then presses a kiss into the small of Neil’s back, just above his arsecrack. “You’re, like, some kind of Greek God laid bare for me right now, and I just wanna fucking look at you forever.”

“My cock would like you to do a bit more than just look at me,” Neil grumbles. Olly snorts.

“All in good time, my love,” he singsongs. He presses another kiss into Neil’s thigh. “Right, how am I doing this? Lube up some fingers and start with one?”

Neil lets out a breathy chuckle, turning to peer over his shoulder awkwardly. “Kind of,” he says. He sounds nervous. “Go slow, yeah?”

Olly nods and uncaps the lube. “Just out of interest,” he says slowly as he gingerly spreads it up his ring finger, adding a little to his middle, “not to talk about previous partners during sex or anything, but how long has it been?”

Neil cranes his neck again. “Um,” he says, and he laughs again humourlessly. “Would you believe me if I told you I haven’t?”

“What the fuck?” Olly asks incredulously, stopping in his tracks. Lube drips all over the sheets but he pretends not to notice. “Never? Really never?”

Neil shrugs awkwardly. “Never been with anyone I trust enough.”

Olly holds still, the only part of him freely moving his smile. “Me?” he gets out eventually, and his voice is about four octaves higher than usual. “You want… me?”

“Yes, you,” Neil says, and this time there is some humour in his laugh, at least. “I’ve never loved anyone before like I love you. You should know that by now.”

There’s a lump in Olly’s throat as he says, “I love you so much, oh my god.” He wants to kiss him so badly right now so he does, shuffling forward awkwardly and kissing him with a hand cupping the back of his neck. Neil kisses back with a smile, and when they break apart they keep connected by a string of spit. Olly grins, eyes flickering closed, as he nudges his nose against Neil’s.

“You’re beautiful,” Neil whispers, hot breath ghosting across Olly’s cheek. “I’m so lucky.”

Olly grins. “Not as lucky as me,” he says, kissing him again. “Right, let’s get me inside this lovely bum of yours.” He repositions himself again between Neil’s legs, using his clean hand to encourage Neil to raise his hips a bit. “I’m gonna start now, alright?”

“Alright,” Neil says. Olly can hear the nerves in his voice. He kisses his bumcheek.

“Hey,” he says lowly. “I can’t promise it won’t hurt but I’ll be careful. I won’t be rough or anything.”

“Thanks,” Neil says, then settles back as he was, resting his head in his arms. Olly gently and carefully leans forward and parts Neil’s cheeks, rubbing the fingers he’s coated with lube over the puckered rim. Neil gasps and his hips hump down into the mattress, which makes Olly giggle more even though it probably shouldn’t.

“I haven’t even pressed inside yet,” he says.

“I know,” Neil says, voice croaky. He sounds like he’s gone a couple of rounds already. “I’m just… it’s new, yeah?”

Olly nods, lowering himself enough to kiss the back of one of Neil’s thighs. “Are you sure you wanna go on then?”

Neil nods. “Positive.”

He hesitates, but he trusts Neil to tell him to stop. With that in mind, he takes a deep breath himself and presses just the tip of his index finger inside, meeting more resistance than he expected to.

“Neil,” he whispers, mouthing at his thigh again. “Neil, honey, you gotta relax.”

Neil lets out something akin to a whimper, which panics Olly until he starts to speak. “I know,” Neil says shakily. “It’s just, like, instinct.”

“I know, sweetheart, but you’ve gotta override them,” Olly says encouragingly. “Hey, here’s a bit of a tip for you.”

“A bottoming tip?” Neil asks. Olly has to snort at how ridiculous that sounds.

“Yes, a bottoming tip,” he says. “I’m just gonna add some more lube, because you’re too dry, I think. But then what I need you to do is when I push in, you try and push me out, yeah?”

“Push you out?” Neil says through gritted teeth.

“Yes,” Olly affirms. “It’ll make it easier, I swear to you.” Neil grunts so Olly assumes he’s understood. “Okay, ready again?”

Another grunt. Olly takes another deep breath and then adds another dollop of lube to Neil’s arse, which makes him squirm from the cold of it. He adds more to his finger and presses it back to Neil’s rim, leaning forward enough so he can kiss up Neil’s spine as he goes. He starts to press in, slowly, _slowly,_ and Neil groans but does as he’s told. There’s still a touch of resistance, but nowhere near as much.

Neil’s hot inside, and tighter than Olly was ready for. He nearly gasps out loud, but he stops himself when he gets to the second knuckle and Neil’s gasping loud enough for the both of them.

“Fuck,” he hiccups, clenching hotly around Olly’s finger. “Oh my _god._ ”

“Gonna go slow,” Olly promises, pulling the finger out enough to push it back in slowly. Neil groans and once again fucks his hips up and down, like he’s trying to take more of Olly’s finger in. “You’re doing well, babe.”

“Barely even started,” Neil groans. “Feel full already.”

Olly snorts. “Babe, this is only my ring finger. And your fingers are, like, twice the size of mine.”

“Are you calling my fingers fat during sex?”

Olly laughs and drags his tongue across the small of Neil’s bad. He tastes like sweat and coconut body wash. Olly likes it a lot.

“No,” he says cheekily. His goal now is to lighten the mood a bit and make everything a little sexier for this. If it’s Neil’s first time, he wants it to open the door for a lot more amazing sex between them, especially given how bad Neil wants this.

Olly can’t help but wonder how long his boyfriend’s been keeping this bottled up for. They’ve been together just shy of a year now, and they’ve been having sex pretty much since day one. The whole thing had come so naturally to the pair of them – from their first day of rehearsals together when their bands first met, it was clear that Olly liked Neil and Neil liked Olly right back.

They’d fallen into bed together about a week into the tour, and they’d just not left each other’s sides unless forced to since. As such, sex had always been a hugely important part of their relationship dynamic, and Olly’s never had a boyfriend quite like him before, both stamina-wise and kink-wise. Neil is normally so open; happy to discuss any little thing that he thinks Olly might want or need. He’s always, _always_ put Olly’s pleasure before his own, which is not only incredibly flattering but also incredibly kind and tender and Olly really couldn’t help but fall for him so fast.

The difference in their sizes has never really mattered to Olly. He used to actively deny it in his head at first, because it was always a little gripe of his. When ex-boyfriends would call him small or tiny, he would wave it off and pretend he wasn’t offended. But Neil says it like it’s the most flattering compliment, and there are times where Olly has wondered if there is actually anything more flattering in the world than the way Neil holds him in his arms during sex, warm and safe and cherished.

His mind suddenly jerks back to not long ago, when Neil was telling him what he wanted from all this. “I want you to cherish me,” he’d said, and thinking about it is more than enough for Olly’s heart to hurt.

Because he’d never really thought about it, is the thing. How as the smaller of the two, he’d sort of taken on this role as the natural bottom, as the naturally more submissive. It wasn’t like they’d ever spoken about it, it had just happened, and now Olly’s starting to wonder why. Yes, he’s a bit shorter than his boyfriend, and yes, he’s always preferred bottoming, but it doesn’t mean he should ever be surprised that Neil wants to do it.

The word _cherish_ just doesn’t stop ringing through his mind. Does Neil want what he’s been doing to Olly the whole time? Does he want the neck kisses, the teeth marks, the pinning down and the holding, the soft whispers into skin and the way he gets held afterwards? Olly is starting to think he does.

With that in mind, he turns the lave of his tongue into something more gentle. He kisses up his spine again, but slower, then back down before he gently pulls his finger out enough to get ready for the second.

“You okay?” he mumbles, lips pressed back to Neil’s bum. “How does it feel, darling?”

“S’okay,” Neil mumbles. “I can probably take another.”

Olly kisses his skin again. “Good boy,” he praises. “You’re being so good.”

The second finger slides in easier than Olly thought, and it’s easier to pick up a momentum with two. He moves slowly but surely, pumping his fingers in and out of Neil’s tight arse, stretching him carefully with scissored fingers. Neil’s letting out excited, breathy moans and his thighs are twitching with every pump of Olly’s fingers.

“How do I find your prostate?” Olly asks, realising with a jolt that he’s going to need some guidance through this too. Neil whines and tries to roll over but Olly’s fingers stop him, making him groan louder.

“It’s…” he tries to grit out, but he can’t seem to get the words from it. “Hang on, Olls, can I roll over?”

Olly nods, confused, but he pulls his fingers out and moves back enough for Neil to roll over onto his back. Olly crawls back between his legs and moves up to hover over him, kissing him breathless. It’s been maybe ten minutes but he can never get enough of Neil’s mouth.

“Missed you,” he coos teasingly, and Neil smirks and puckers his lips so Olly kisses him again. “How are you, darling?”

“Horny,” Neil whines, but like Olly, his tone is teasing. “Your fingers feel fucking amazing though.”

“Yeah?” Olly asks. “They’re nowhere near as long as yours, mind.”

“Still making me feel so good,” Neil promises. He’s covered in the thin sheen of sweat and he’s panting like he’s gone a full round, not just been fingered for a bit. “Okay, the prostate.”

Olly grins. “Ah, yes. Anal sex 101 continues.”

Neil swats at him weakly. “Get your fingers back in me, Alexander.”

Olly rolls his eyes but obliges. He reaches for the lube again and coats up his fingers, then slides the previous two back in easily. He gets his momentum back, and then turns to press a gentle kiss into Neil’s knee.

“Prostate?”

Neil gulps, his cock twitching visibly at the mere mention of the word. Olly wonders why, but then he remembers that this could quite possibly the first bit of attention his prostate has ever had, and he really, _really_ wants to watch his boyfriend fall apart that way.

“Curl, like, curl your fingers upwards,” Neil tells him. “Like in a come hither motion.”

Olly snorts. “Come hither motion,” he has to laugh. “Where I come from it’s _oii oii._ ”

Neil swats at him again. “Shut up,” he gulps. “You’re being such a little… _ohh.”_

Olly crooks his fingers before he manages to get the words out, and the reaction is thoroughly breath-taking. His whole body freezes, like it isn’t sure how it should react. Then he lets out a long moan, beautiful and broken. Olly smirks and does it again, and this time he gets a full body reaction. Neil’s body jerks under him, legs thrashing against the messy covers and he nearly brains himself against the headboard.

“Jesus fuck,” Olly mutters, mostly to himself. “Babe?”

“More,” Neil cries, hand flying out a bit wildly. Olly takes it with his clean hand and locks their fingers together, squeezing him reassuringly. “Fuck, Olly, fuck, _fuck…_ ”

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Olly says gently, crawling forward a bit so he’s almost straddling him. His own cock brushes against Neil’s thigh, and it’s quite surprising to him, almost, that he’s hard. He shouldn’t be surprised, considering he has the most attractive man in the world underneath him chanting his name like some sort of prayer, but he’d really forgotten about his own dick in his quest to get Neil off as comfortably and gently as he could get away with.

He adds a third finger sloppily, managing to coat his belly and some of the bedsheets in the process. Neil barely seems to notice, too busy fucking himself on Olly’s fingers. Olly’s quite enjoying this, and he thinks that he could lean back and take Neil’s dick in his mouth, suck him to a quick and probably rather fulfilling orgasm. But Neil hasn’t let go of his hand, and he’s whimpering each second Olly’s fingers come to a stand-still. Olly kisses his knee again.

“Are you close, love?”

Neil nods. His hair is all over the place, sticking to his forehead, and he tries to wipe it away. Olly squeezes his hand.

“Do you want me to make you come like this?” he asks gently. “Or do you want me to fuck you?”

“Fuck me,” Neil begs, tugging on his hand. “Please, Olls, please, I’m gonna…”

“Hey, hey, love,” Olly soothes, pulling his fingers out and stroking a hand over Neil’s knee. Neil groans and knocks his head back against the pillows. “I have you, yeah?” He can’t help but smile. “I love you.”

“Love you,” Neil moans. His thighs won’t stop twitching, his chest rising and falling at an almost frantic pace. His cock is hard and curved up against his belly, and he looks more beautiful than Olly has ever seen him. “Fuck me.”

Olly nods, mostly to himself, finally getting a hand on himself. He gives himself a few sharp tugs and then reaches for the lube again, before he pauses. “Condom?””

The pair of them both got tested at the start of their relationship, and they both came back with clean results. Sometimes they fuck bareback, but it’s just more hygienic and easier on the clean-up if they use one, so they still do most of the time. Olly doesn’t mind giving Neil the option though, it seems only fair.

“I… maybe?” Neil stammers. He blinks at Olly a few times. “What would you do?”

“It’s your first time,” Olly says, still pumping away at his dick. Neil’s eyes fall to it and he licks his lips, probably unconsciously. Olly can’t help but grin. “It’ll make less work to clean up. I’ll fuck you bareback tomorrow if it’s something you’re still interested in.”

“Very interested,” Neil grunts. “Okay. I trust you.”

Olly nods and then scrabbles back over to the bedside drawer for a condom. He rubs a gentle hand up Neil’s side as he goes, but Neil’s so on edge that even that seemingly gentle touch makes him jerk. Olly speeds up the process, falling back onto his haunches and ripping open the little foil packet. It’s been a while since he’s worn a condom himself, and it feels a little weird to be rolling it on himself and not Neil.

He moves forward and positions himself, then with Neil’s comfort in mind he grabs a pillow from his side of the bed and carefully lifts Neil’s hips as best he can to slide it underneath. Neil shifts obediently and then wraps his legs around Olly’s back, drawing him closer.

“Oi,” Olly says as he almost topples forward. He manages to position himself right just in time, arms pillared above Neil’s shoulders, their faces mere inches apart. “Careful, you.”

Neil laughs breathlessly. “I’m so fucking turned on,” he whines. “Please, Olls, I’m… _please._ ”

Olly kisses him just once and then moves down so he can take his cock in hand. He holds it against Neil’s hole for just a second, then starts to push in almost torturously slowly. This is new for both of them, clearly, because while Neil is panting and scrabbling for his hands, back arching off the mattress, Olly is using extreme self-control not to come on the spot. Everything is so hot and tight and he feels _glorious,_ yet he knows he wants to draw this out for Neil’s pleasure. He bites down on his lip as he presses in the first couple of inches, gripping Neil’s hands obediently and babbling encouragements.

“So good,” he moans. “So good, Neil, _fuck,_ love you so much.”

“Olly,” Neil’s groaning out, tugging on his wrists. Olly goes down easily – he needs very little encouragement, really – and accidentally presses in a little further than he intended to. Neil lets out a whine and he kisses the corner of his mouth.

“Sorry, love, sorry,” he says gently. “You okay?”

“Full,” Neil wails. “So… much…”

“I’m about halfway in,” Olly says, peppering kisses all over his face. “Can I move again?”

Neil bites his lip and nods, and Olly carefully nudges in a little further. Neil’s grip on his hands gets tighter almost straight away so he pauses and goes back to kissing him. He doesn’t really kiss back so much as wetly try and move his lips against Olly’s, but Olly doesn’t really mind. He gets it, he really, really does.

It takes maybe another five or so minutes for Olly to get himself fully inside Neil, and once Neil realises he lets out an almighty moan, clinging to Olly a little tighter, if that’s even possible at this point. Olly can’t help but grin a little smugly, tucking his face into Neil’s shoulder as he starts to fuck him slowly.

He’s slow at first, but it’s easy enough to build up a rhythm when he’s surer of what Neil wants. Neil’s so vocal, always has been, but normally he’s one for dirty talk and spurring Olly on. Now the roles are reversed, he’s letting out the most beautiful breathy moans mixed with chants of Olly’s name, and Olly wants to get this moment tattooed on his eyelids or something because he doubts he’ll ever see anything more beautiful again.

“Olly, Olly, _oh,_ Olly,” he moans, and just like that he’s coming, shooting hot and wet between their bodies. Olly gasps – he can’t help it – and keeps fucking him through it like he knows Neil loves doing to him, keeping a steady rhythm going until Neil’s squirming and shaking and croaking out a, “stop, Olls, stop a sec.”

Olly slows his hips, but he’s fucking _seconds_ off coming himself. He can’t help the whine that escapes him, and he pulls out slowly and rips off the condom, tossing it over the side of the bed before he wraps a hand around himself and fucks his fist.

He comes in less than a minute, and when he’s done he collapses on top of Neil’s spent body, curling up into his side. Neil’s still panting but he rolls over and wraps his arms around Olly, kissing a sloppy kiss onto his shoulder and nuzzling his nose against his chest.

“That was… _amazing,_ ” he whispers, nudging his head up enough to capture Olly’s lips. Olly kisses back lazily, knackered but also on top of the fucking world. “You made me feel so good, baby boy.”

“I love you,” Olly murmurs back. “That was so good, babe, you were so good.”

“Love you more,” Neil says, which is against their rules, but Olly thinks today is a good day to let it slide. “You’re fucking amazing, Olls, I’m honestly the luckiest bloke in the world.”

“Was I that good?” Olly says teasingly, running a finger through Neil’s chest hair. “I am clearly the sex god of this relationship then.”

“Sex god, sex monster, the one who just broke me with their fingers and their dick,” Neil singsongs. His speech is slurred and he sounds seconds off falling asleep. “Did you like it?”

“Like it?” Olly asks incredulously. “Oh, baby, did I fucking like it. You were so fucking lovely, got me so hard.”

“Yeah?” Neil says, and he sounds more timid than anything now. “So you’d, like, maybe wanna do it again?”

“Multiple times,” Olly promises, kissing him again soundly. “I’ll do it whenever and wherever you need me to.” He wrinkles his nose. “Well, within reason.”

Neil laughs and moves in to kiss him again, and the pair fall asleep like this, sated and happy and comfy in each other’s arms.

For the most part, not a lot changes. Olly still prefers to bottom and Neil loves to top, but there are times when Neil needs Olly to look after him or hold him and Olly is more than happy to oblige. It can be if they’ve been separated for a while, or it can be when Neil’s just having a particularly bad day and needs to be loved and cherished and told how loved he really is. It’s pretty fucking wonderful, really, because Olly knows that Neil finds it difficult to ask, but it shows a lot about his trust in Olly that he did, and Olly really appreciates it. He loves him so damn much.


End file.
